As I jump off the floor I’ll crash through the ceiling head first.

No, because of gravity you’d need a cannon.

I’ll shoot out of a cannon and crash through the ceiling.

What ceiling? And wouldn’t that hurt? Are you breaking it with your head?

I’ll shoot out of the cannon with my shiny pink helmet and break the ceiling of the library with my head.

Library? Wow, that came out of left field. Where would you put a cannon in a library?

After rolling the shelves to the walls of the room and kindly asking Catherine to please leave because this is my moment I’ll shoot out of my blue and white striped cannon with my pink helmet on my head and break the ceiling of the library with my pink-helmeted head.

Catherine? What’s she got to do with this? Who is that?

After I ask my ex-girlfriend Catherine who was coming to ask me for her shorts back to please move and I’ll shoot through the roof with my pink-helmeted head.

Why would she choose such a time to ask for her shorts back? Does she want to ruin your moment?

When I get to the front of the line and am allowed to ask Catherine a question despite politely asking the tall boy with the scarf to please stop cutting in line I’ll give her back her shorts and then ask her to please move and shoot out of a cannon but she’s not paying attention anymore.

Now it sounds like she’s shooting out of the cannon. You’ve got no images. Show me all of this transpiring.

When I get to the front of the line that leads to a very good looking short blond girl answering questions, just not mine, and ask a tall boy with a grey scarf and turtleneck to please stop fucking my shit you motherfucking asshole I’ll ask the very sweet girl with the thighs that are each as big around as a roast turkey to please move to the surrounding walls of the library after I give her back her shorts so that I may shoot myself out of a cannon that shoots humans.

You wouldn’t say anything to her? You definitely wouldn’t just give her the shorts and run.

When I get to look Catherine in the eyes again after maybe a month of waiting in line and I quickly look away because I can’t speak I’ll tell her I’m sorry I couldn’t deal with her schedule and ask for her to take me back and she’ll smile and just ask for her shorts back and I’ll ask her why it didn’t work but she’ll just tell me I know why so I’ll tell her to move aside and I’ll shoot myself out of a cannon to get her to look at me but she’s talking to the boy in the scarf again and maybe he’s ‘not a threat’ but I still don’t like him and she’s really sorry but she has to go and this isn’t even my bed or my house but I maybe when you get broken up with you get a pass no matter what and I can’t go home just yet or even downstairs because Joe’s family is watching Modern Family but I don’t know where else I can cry because someone might hear me.